photo by Jennifer Emerling.
For those whose mother’s have passed on or are estranged from– I have found my own ways of getting through this difficult day, and I wanted to share them with you.
* Get off social media for the day. Don’t open Facebook, Instagram, or any other networking apps. These often bring up feelings I’m not able to process clearly, and it’s a bombardment that I can’t process all at once. I spend the rest of my year processing my parental shit, there’s no need to add more layers on top of it during this 24 hour period.
* If you are comfortable with it, seek out the awesome mothers in your life. I generally call those moms and just let them know I love them and appreciate them, but I also keep the calls short (2-3 minutes) and to the point for my own well being. I used to go to Mother’s Day’s brunches with friends’ mothers, before I figured out what I needed–I do better with little check ins and drops of love Mother’s Day, rather than a day full of EMOTIONS. Feel out what distance feels good for you.
* Listen to music that doesn’t facilitate stress. Meditate. Curl up in blankets and read a fantasy novel. Basically, do all the things that bring peaceful feelings.
*Don’t schedule any appointments or lunches out, unless seeing mom/kid teams out and about doesn’t stress you out. Seek out friends that are motherless for the day as well. Have a bbq. Play cards. Have makeovers. Do all the things that help you bond and chill out.
* I am not one for looking through old pictures of my mom and I together (it’s too emotionally charged for me) but I do try to think a few days ahead of things that I can do on Mother’s Day to honor her memory. I usually end up trying a new recipe in the kitchen or reading a book, two luxuries she enjoyed when she had the time. This helps me feel close to her without having that mountain of sadness around me.
* If you need to be upset or sad, I get it, and I think you should do it. However, for me this is easier when I call a friend that gets it and can just be with me. I mean really be with me, not asking questions, not trying to fix things. Sometimes I just want someone to make me tea and hold me while I cry. That’s good friend stuff.
I am thinking of you and you are not alone today.